What is WRONG with me??

So, today is my usual day. I run, run, run and finally land at home around 8:15 p.m. I sit down to do homework (play games and chat on IM) and Dave (resident husband)is up and putzing around. He begins to clean the kitchen from dinner, doing dishes, washing down the counters and stuff, you know, all the regular daily stuff. As I sit here, I can hear him. Dishes clanking, spray cleaner spritzing, walking around the kitchen - and I feel.... not sure what, but SOMETHING odd, like I should get up and THANK HIM FOR WHAT HE'S DOING.

Well, I'm not generally an inconsiderate person (lying here) and I really am compassionate of other peoples feelings (another lie) - I'm just going to stop here; but what I'm trying to say is that if someone does something out of the ordinary, or blesses me when I sneeze - I say thank you, of course.

But as I sat here, listening to all the noises going on in the kitchen, I really had to convince myself not to yell in, Thanks, honey!

Now, my reasoning: He's never thanked me for doing the dishes. Now the problem here is not that he's never thanked me; but why I feel the need to thank HIM. Is it some inbred "June Cleaver Housewife" training? Why do I feel the need to thank my husband for cleaning in his own house? Mind you, he made the damn mess in the first place!!

The clanking and washing is done now and he's safely and somewhat quietly ensconced in his recliner watching something boring; but the feeling lingers. I don't know if I can hold off for the rest of the night.

If I venture to ask him why he never thanks me, it will probably just start a fight - God knows I have no time for that! So I'll just wonder.

Tonight, I was lucky enough to get an hour just for myself. It was a wonderful, peaceful hour in which I SHUT OFF MY CELL PHONE and was effectively unavailable to everyone. It was rare and fantastic! Maybe that's why I'm feeling this intense urge to thank Dave for doing the dishes. Maybe I feel guilt for taking time just for me. Now doesn't that just suck?

I think I'm heading off to bed now to let my mind continue to ponder this thought in my dreams. I'll update if I figure anything meaningful out. Until then...

chat soon.

xoxo