Dear Cheryl,
It's been five months since you died and I'm still not quite myself. I'm making changes, I'm moving forward; I am missing you every day. I must have thought about you 100 or more times each of those 151 days. I am sad, I remember the last second of your life, I remember the fun times we had, I remember the bad times we had. I remember them all; and more come to me each day. I can talk about you more often without crying. That's a step forward I guess.
I joined a gym and go every day. As you can imagine - knowing how we are (were) - I sweat something awful. The good thing is that I can let the tears flow and they blend right in with the sweat. I don't have to worry about explaining myself or justifying anything. I can just keep on with what I'm doing and let them fall. It's cathartic.
Jenn's shower is coming up this weekend. This is a special time in my son's - your godson's - life. I hope and pray you will be there watching over us, enjoying time with me and my girls, Mom and Jackie. Seeing the games and gifts and generally shining your love down on my new daughter.
I found this old picture of us from 1967. We're holding Frank when he was a newborn. I love how you look in this picture.
It's been five months and I'm not quite myself. I don't know who I am really. I'm still trying to figure that out. Miss you bunches.
All my love,
The middle one
xoxo
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