For My Daughter-in-Law

I recently stumbled upon an article about the top 10 things that daughters-in-law would like to say to their mothers-in-law and was curious enough to read through. I am curious about the relationship, not having had a mother-in-law myself for more than 20 years now; and God knows I don’t want to make any mistakes that might send you running!

One study I read, by a Dr. Mikucki-Enyart at University of Wisconsin states that “we expect a daughter-in-law not to like a mother-in-law and to expect her to be meddlesome.”   That's a scary thought - like I am automatically expected to fail even before the wedding!  I hope your expectations are a bit different.  Jenn, as a result of that reading and further research (I’ve been in school for too long), I have compiled this list of things I promise to you:

1. I will never expect you to be like me. Ever.
2. Buying the kids expensive, messy, loud, etc. gifts: well, I can’t promise I won’t do that; but I promise to keep them at my house if you prefer. 
3. Babysitting: I will always babysit when I am able. I will take the kid(s) over night, I will take them in a house, I will take them with a mouse, I will take them in a box, I will take them with a fox, I will take them here and there, I will take them anywhere! Ok, I may have gotten a little Dr. Seussed away here; but you get my meaning. I think you can tell by my actions with the other little one that I mean what I say here :-)
4. I will not pop in unexpected or unannounced. I will never reorganize your house.
5. I will never expect thank you notes from you for anything. Ever. I promise. This goes for your kids as well. 
6. I know you’re a much better cook than I ever was, so no worries about my ever thinking or saying that you don’t feed my son well enough. Plus, he’s a big boy.
7. I will do my best to offer parenting advice only upon request and will never expect it to be followed. 
8. I will never take sides when you and my son have a disagreement.
9. I will apologize when necessary. I am not perfect and will inevitably say something stupid
10. I understand that some things are not my business, that maybe I don’t want to know, and that it’s quite possible that I would not understand.
11. I am grateful and only a little jealous that my son is gifted a fantastic additional family upon marrying you and that some of them he may like better than some of us. 
12. I will have a relationship with you separate from my son. 
13. I will tell you all our stories, inside secrets and family history so you will never feel left out
14. I will create stories, inside secrets and family history with you so we may always live in the present.
15. I promise to remember that I was once a daughter-in-law and it isn’t always easy.
16. I realize that you will change my son, that you will come first, and that I am not the woman in his life. I am happy to pass that honor over to you.

My son loves you, I love you. You are an amazing woman and I am so happy that you two found each other. I can't wait until we all start our new life together!

Love, your (other) Mom

p.s. If you think of it, remind him to call me now and again.